Overheard in the Halls of Tolerant Calvinism


"Have you heard the latest utterly ludicrous and unbiblical junk from those poor, illogical fools from Outside the Camp?"

"Oh, yes -- you must be talking about their totally untenable view that all Arminians are lost."

"Yes -- can you believe these babbling idiots? They don't even see something very simple - the logical fallacy of the proposition that since Arminians believe p (universal atonement), they must believe q (salvation conditioned on the sinner). Can't they see that if I believe p and p entails q, I don't necessarily also believe q? How ridiculous. They obviously do not have our logical skills."

"Obviously. And speaking of logical fallacies, have you seen the utterly ludicrous and unbiblical junk from that poor, illogical fool, the Apostle Paul?"

"Oh, certainly. Especially his conclusion in Romans 10:3 that those who are ignorant of just one doctrine (the righteousness of God) must necessarily be going about to establish a righteousness of their own. This does not logically follow. Just because one does not believe in salvation by imputed righteousness (p), one does not necessarily believe that he believes in salvation by his own righteousness (q). How foolish. It is simply wrong headed to attribute that additional belief to the person on the mere ground that it is a logical implication of the person's actual belief. His argument operates on the assumption that people hold to all the implications of their beliefs. This is in point of the logic of believings incorrect. So his argument is unsound. "

"Amen, brother. There's another one that shows that Paul is totally illogical. In 1 Corinthians 15:13-17, he says that if one believes that there is no resurrection of the dead, it logically follows that not even Christ has been raised, and if Christ has not been raised, then one's faith is worthless. How dare he! Just because one believes there is no resurrection does not necessarily mean that one believes that Christ has not been raised! And then he makes the illogical leap to say that one's faith is worthless if he believes this!"

"Don't Paul know that sanctification is a long and difficult process? They're expecting all Christians to know that salvation is based on the imputed righteousness of Christ immediately after regeneration! Don't they know that it has taken years for me to come to the high plain of intellectual achievement that I now enjoy? Arminians are just not as smart as we are. But with some rigorous intellectual training, they can attain to the heights of consistent Christianity that we have now attained."

"Yes - we have reached such high levels of sanctification, but we should not look down upon those other lesser, more ignorant, dumber Christians."

"Take for example a person who is a Mormon. He says be believes in Jesus Christ. Who are we to judge him to be lost? He might be at the very beginning stages of sanctification. He might just be confused about some of the doctrinal minutiae such as Christology and Soteriology. We should humbly, patiently, teach those who are struggling with basic doctrinal issues, instead of condemning them. A man, upon being regenerated, is not granted an entire understanding of systematic theology."

"Right. How dare Paul and the Outside the Camp people say that all true Christians believe the gospel! It takes years, even decades, for a Christian to believe the true gospel. He might even believe the false gospel until his dying breath; but this is no reason to condemn the person as lost."

"And we kinder, gentler Calvinists must never, ever say that one who confesses a false gospel is lost. That would be proud and mean. We're not proud and mean. We're gentle and humble. We are gentle and humble enough to say, 'Peace, Peace' to our inconsistent Arminian brethren, knowing that they have not yet attained the same heights of sanctification that we have."

"My, aren't we humble!"

"You can say that again!"

"My, aren't we humble!"


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